WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE HAS DIED: Preparing for the Funeral
Losing someone we love is one of life’s deepest sorrows. In the midst of shock, numbness, exhaustion or heartache, the task of organising a funeral can feel overwhelming. Please know that you are not alone. Your local priest, the Funeral Director, the parish Funeral Ministry Team, and caring friends and neighbours are here to walk with you and support you with gentleness and understanding.
What follows is a simple guide to help you prepare a funeral service that honours your loved one and brings comfort to your family.
Remembering: The Wake or Vigil
It is natural to want to remember and tell stories about the one who has died – the good times, the shared laughter and the love you knew. The Wake creates a gentle space for family and friends to gather around the body of your loved one. This can take place at home or in the funeral home. This may include the Rosary and a time for personal remembrances, favourite prayers, poems or the quiet sharing of stories
The Wake often ends with the ‘Vigil for the Deceased’. This includes Scripture readings and prayers that speak of our Christian hope in the Resurrection, while also giving voice to the pain of loss. It can be led by a priest, deacon, religious or lay minister. Many families find this more intimate gathering a beautiful and healing way to begin saying goodbye.
The Reception of the Remains
Welcoming the body of your loved one back into the parish church is a tender moment of homecoming. The priest or lay minister greets the family at the church door. The coffin is sprinkled with holy water, reminding us of the Baptism that first joined your loved one to Christ’s death and Resurrection.
The Funeral Mass
The Funeral Mass or Service invites the community to gather and entrust your loved one to God’s mercy, to give thanks for their life, and above all to celebrate the death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, in whom we place our hope.
During the Liturgy of the Word, carefully chosen Scripture readings speak God’s words of comfort and hope directly into your grief. The Prayers of the Faithful and the celebration of the Eucharist allow the whole community to pray for your loved one and for all who mourn.
The Mass concludes with the beautiful Final Commendation, where we solemnly entrust your loved one into the loving arms of God.
The Rite of Committal
At the cemetery or crematorium, the Rite of Committal offers a final, sacred goodbye. With simple prayers and the sprinkling of holy water, we commit the body of your loved one to the Lord, while holding fast to the promise of eternal life.
A Few Gentle Words of Guidance
- Do not worry about getting everything right. The priest, Funeral Director and Funeral Ministry Team are there to guide and support you with care.
- Try not to rush the arrangements if it is possible to allow a little time.
- Involve family members in simple, meaningful ways – choosing symbols, bringing up the gifts or reading.
- For readings in church, it is OK to ask experienced readers so that close family members are free to simply grieve and receive support.
- Sacred music and hymns bring special comfort and dignity to the service.
To access the GUIDELINES AND READINGS FOR FUNERALS, click HERE.
Hard copies of these guidelines and readings are available from the Diocesan Office.
In the weeks and months ahead, you may find it helpful to remember your loved one at a Month’s Mind Mass, the annual November Mass for the Dead or on the anniversary. These quiet moments of prayer continue to bring healing and peace.
May the Lord who conquered death surround you with His gentle comfort and give you strength and hope in the days to come.